So the whole world has apparently being going gaga over some frizz headed mental from Scotland who can sing a little bit?
Can someone explain to me why?
Now if she sang like Jesus or summat then fine, yes go crazy and have her on the front cover of every single newspaper and on all the boring American chat shows, but the thing is, and actually it's a big thing, it's kinda the most important thing. She can't actually sing that well so please PLEASE shut up about her and stop all this nonsense.
Yes she's some scruff bag loser from the middle of nowhere, but so what? You can go into the middle of nowhere and probably find someone with equal singing ability and probably crazier hair, so why all the adoration?
Well that's quite simple really, people are twats who will find themselves caught up in a tizz simply because Simon Cowell thinks they should. Actually it's not fair to blame Simon, he is quite funny so I'll blame Amanda fucking Holden. Amanda Holden is so fucking awful, so fucking objectionable that you wonder why no-one has set about smashing her head in with a brick or a tank. Quite why she still continues to deny that she's got a face filled with botox and fillers is beyond me, Amanda Love, it's RATHER noticeable and if you lie about that then you probably lie about everything else. And... why is she on this program anyway? What talent does she have? I guess being bummed by Les Dennis for a few years and not killing herself and Les is a talent, but still it's not up there with having an actual talent or being a respected music man like Cowell.
Back to the contestants. Now how many had talent?
The dancers were good (though they're nowhere near as talented as Flawless who will appear on the 2nd of the shows) and made me smile, though they lacked cohesion and need a lot more training.
The violinist is very talented though she'll suffer because everyone of course is comparing her to Vanessa Mae and apparently you can't have two similar violinists... quite why I'm not so sure. Most chart acts are exactly the same as one another, all bland and quite frankly shit. Why can't you have two East Asian violinists?
Then there was a astonishingly bad act of a man dressed as Darth Vader dancing to Thriller by Michael Jackson. The less said about that the better. Abysmal springs to mind.
Then a 3? year old child singing Superstar by Jamelia? I don't get it, don't all small children sound exactly like that when they sing? IE: It's rather sweet but you'd never ever listen to it off a CD, well you probably would if you're a paedo or summat but I'm hoping you're not.
Next a belly dancer, yeah she was a very good looking woman but don't you need a belly to do it? Flat stomachs defeat the object.
A man called Nick Hell and his fiance did some vaguely dangerous sideshow freak acts, hanging things from their ears and such. Yeah thanks for that Nick, make us Goths look even more stupid than ever, cheers *rolls eyes*.
Two men dancing with masks of 'celebrities' on. Um... why? Terrible.
And last but not least the woman with certified special needs, singing. Badly.
Yes she actually has special needs so how on earth is this allowed? She doesn't seem to understand anything anyone is saying so she amounts to little more than a freak show.
Will I watch tonight? More than likely, I'm a weak willed loser and the program brain washes you, you find yourself lying back and unable to move, getting angry at the adverts in between because you want to see who's next.
Though in the end it's pointless isn't it, the mong will win and 3 days afterwards the newspapers will start tearing into her. That's Britain for you. You got talent? YES! Now lets start the bitching *rubs hands together with glee*